Wildlife, nature, and the ugly side of humanity, greed and entitlement. Australia and New Zealand.

This trip to Australia and New Zealand was the trip of a lifetime, probably one of my favorite trips for many reasons.  Australia, I remember being a little girl and watching Jacques Cousteau and his little red beanie. I loved him and admired him so much the work and research he was doing on marine conservation. When I arrived to the Great Barrier Reef, I had envisioned what I thought I was going to see, beautifully colored reef's with more sea life than I could ever imagine, sad to say not so.

The coral is not vibrant and many of it is dead! During our swim and our dive Lauren (my daughter) and I observed the swimmers and we were mortified at what we saw! The majority of the people that were swimming, were swimming on top of the reef, kicking the reef with their fins, stepping on them, placing there hands to keep balance! We were outraged! Nobody seemed to care, especially the boat and crew that had taken us out there.  New Zealand, Lauren dove one day and the next day I wanted to go out and see the dolphins since our previous excursion was cancelled because of rough seas. We got on a boat and thirty minutes out from port the water was filled with dolphins,  60, 70 ,80 who could count with all the excitement of seeing these beautiful creatures frolic and play with us!

The most beautiful sight I have ever seen with wildlife! Mind you I have been up and close to many, Gorillas, Elephants, Lions, and many many more, the dolphin is the only one that wants to interact and play with humans!  They loved jumping, spinning, and twirling! Onboard our ship was a woman that was observing the dolphins part of a three year PHD study. New Zealand has very strict guidelines when it comes to any type of encounter with the dolphins and the possibility of getting in to the water with them.  If there are babies, feeding, breeding, or resting, it is a no go! The first group we encountered had several babies, so it was off limits to get in, we were even limited in the time the boat could stay by them.  Shortly after we moved on to find more and sure enough we did! No babies, just time  enough to jump in to the frigid waters and see if you were lucky enough for them to swim next to you. This was hard work, these guys are fast and playful. The amazing thing is to hear them under water talking to each other, the social interaction between them is simply amazing! 

 Things the Sea World, the Sea Aquarium and other places do not want you to know:

In the wild, dolphins live from 50 to 60 years and more!

In captivity the generally die within the first five days and maximum life span five to six years!

They go through dozens of dolphins before one actually survives in the captivity. They pay poor countries like Fiji and many others multiples for capturing of dolphins. 

They become depressed and not being able to swim and be social with other dolphins and kill their spirit and they die. 

Please read below, this is not propaganda, this is the ugly truth! Trainers in  these parks do not train them how to jump and play, it comes naturally them, it is instinctual.  Please resist the urge to take your children to these places, take them on a boat ride and let them be viewed in their own environment. 

Ten Fast Facts about Captive Orcas and Dolphins

By Linda Wolfe, Program Associate

1. Both orcas (commonly known as killer whales) and dolphins are members of the dolphin family Delphinidae, of which orcas are the largest members. There are more than 500 orcas, dolphins and other members of the dolphin family held in captivity in the United States.
2. Before the passage of the Marine Mammal Protection Act (MMPA) in 1972, roughly 1,133 dolphins had been captured in the U.S. waters. From 1964 to 1989, 138 orcas were captured worldwide for aquariums. While the MMPA makes it more difficult to capture marine mammals from the wild, aquariums still can apply for permits or import animals caught in other countries.
3. Despite their claim, marine parks do not help to conserve marine mammals through their breeding programs. The marine mammals most commonly bred in captivity are not considered threatened or endangered.
4. Aquariums have no intention of returning captive breed animals to the wild. In fact, they frequently argue that the success of such endeavors would be unlikely and vehemently oppose release efforts.
5. The results of studies conducted in captivity may not be adequately extrapolated to wild animals for several reasons. Captive marine mammals live in small, sterile enclosures and are deprived of their natural activity level, social groups and interactions with their natural environment, and many captive marine mammals develop stereotypic behavior and/or aggression not known to occur in the wild. What we have learned from captive research is that orcas and dolphins are more intelligent than previously imagined, providing more evidence that a life in captivity is inhumane.
6. Current research shows that there is no significant difference between the longevity of captive and wild orcas/dolphins. Despite the controlled environment, routine veterinary care and medications including anti-depressants, captive dolphins and orcas do not outlive their wild counterparts.
7. Forcing orcas and dolphins to live in groups dictated by humans disrupts the dynamics of the natural hierarchy, which in turn upsets their natural behavior.
8. Surveys show that most people prefer to see marine mammals displaying natural behaviors rather than performing “tricks and stunts.”
9. A public display of wild animals is not necessary to engage people. Many wild animals, including several whale species, enjoy a high degree of public interest and concern despite never being maintained in captivity for public display.
10. Keeping wild animals in captivity for human amusement is inherently cruel, as it deprives them of the ability to freely engage in instinctual behaviors in their natural environment.

Australia, Queensland and more!

Well after 36 hours plus travel time finally made it to Cairns (pronounced cans). The first day we went snorkeling outside of Port Douglas on board the Calyps, over crowded and really not too well run. My first impression of the Great barrier reef, is great....really?...., maybe just in size, but nothing else, there is a lot of dead coral and not a great variety of fish. We went to Opal reef, where tourists from abroad and Australia thrashed around the coral with complete disregard. two women  with young boys and spaghetti sticks to float had their fins all over the coral and no one from the boat called them out on it.  When my daughter mentioned it to the crew they said feel free to say something to them, really our job to police your passengers and your reefs?  Of course we scolded right and left to no avail!
There is a great article in the Economist the speaks to the state of danger the reef Isis and the UN is considering to put it on the world heritage danger list. One would think that Australia would do everything in its power to protect its national treasure. At a cost of $200 plus a person to take a ride out to the reef it is a huge money maker for them, but one that is being abused by the tour operators in catastrophic numbers! The state of Queensland makes over 5 billion a year in revenue, what will they do when it is no longer there to view?  The government even approved a project to dump dredging spoils in to the waters of the reef for a new port in Abbot Point, is there nowhere else in this enormous country to dump it?

On another note, Aussies so far from the ones we have interacted with are witty, curious and so friendly! One has to adjust as to how curious and conversational they are.
Another thing I have noticed is their deep sense of community.  For one, the Sydney seige, such an outpouring of compassion for those that lost their lives and suffered through the ordeal of being held hostage. A memorial with thousands of flowers and people standing in line weeping. I have not seen such an outpouring community and compassion since Princess Diana.

An 18 year old young man attacked and killed by a shark, his friends set up a prayer vigil, the family expected a few dozen people, several hundred showed up! This helped the family through their grief and loss. Why are we not like the Aussies? Have we become too desensitized because of daily killings and decades of war?

Obey or Respect

Since the beginning of time children have been told to "obey" everything from parents, to teachers to law enforcement basically anyone that was taller than them. Obey in particular was carried over to adult life for women, in their wedding vows, I will honor and Obey!

Obey a form of social influence, compliance.

Respect a positive feeling, esteem for another person, specific action or conduct.


During lunch last week the conversation about these two words came up and it hit me like a ton of bricks. What are we doing to our children by telling them they need to Obey adults instead of respecting them?
Even as I sit and write this, obey is belittling the person that is instructed to follow that command, making one feel small inferior, unimportant.

Respect, a totally different feeling of empowerment, giving them the ability to respect someone.

The word obey was pushed on me as child to the point that I was never able to question an adult.
If I would have been taught to respect, would things have been different?

Would I have had the courage to question and challenge the person that sexually abused me all those years if I would have learned respect instead of obey? Two simple words that possibly could have changed and given power to one little girl.

Big question.........

How do you size up people?

Humans have always been told first impressions count.  Do we lay too much weight on this statement?
I know from personal experience that I have been wrong on occasion about people, I have also
apologized to them when I was wrong about them. One person in particular comes to mind, a
friend of mine that when I first met him I thought he was full of himself, completely self
centered and totally clueless. I could have not been more wrong, he is a  genuinely kind person
that is a wonderful father.
I would say that most of the time I am right, but I am not so sure it is about first impression, but
more about listening to your gut. And this should be taught at a very young age.  I would always observe my daughter as a child and her gut was right on most of the time with most of the people,
why, because they have no filters, do not know what "judgmental" is for the most part.
I can think of thousands of people that have read me wrong, for many reasons, my question is it because of our facade or because that are already sizing you up by the type of the clothes you wear,
the car you drive or the home you live in?

I remember I was at lunch with a guy and an ex-boyfriend walked in to the restaurant, he saw me
having lunch with the guy and he said hello and called me the next day and asked me "what the
hell are you doing dating that guy?" I said why, I really did not know him that well yet, and my
ex said to me, not my business but you are not the type of woman that would go out with him, he
said just watch the way he treats people and I did and my ex was right and I left him.

Finally my last little story, I went to a Reiki treatment:

Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy

For me it was cathartic, as I was laying on the table and this beautiful woman was passing her hands
over me, she starting telling me her story, and at the end she said. "I live my life and I fall in love with the soul of the person, not the gender". She said I am currently married with a child, but it
does not mean that I could not fall in love with a woman, because she sees the essence of the
person and not the carriage. From that day on I view love differently, because now my love
cannot be identified by the love of a child, parent or spouse. Love is love! And what is "being in
Love all about" that to me is not a real love, it is a transitional emotion confused with the word
love.
More on that next time.

Inside/Out, The "naked" photography project and the burning of the bra!

The bra!

Why was it invented?
It seems to me after dealing with a lifetime of carry breasts around that the bra has done a disservice to women.

Breasts are made of ligaments and fat, if you put them in to a sling they no longer have to work they get lazy and sag. Another product misleading women.

Robert Mansell, a professor of surgery at the University Hospital of Wales, in Cardiff, reported that, "Bras don't prevent breasts from sagging, with regard to stretching of the breast ligaments and drooping in later life, that occurs very regularly anyway, and that's a function of the weight, often of heavy breasts, and these women are wearing bras and it doesn't prevent it." John Dixey, at the time CEO of Playtex, agreed with Mansell. "We have no medical evidence that wearing a bra could prevent sagging, because the breast itself is not muscle so keeping it toned up is an impossibility."^[53] John Dixey told interviewers. "There's no permanent effect on the breast from wearing a particular bra. The bra will give you the shape the bra's been designed to give while you're wearing it."^[54] Bras only affect the shape of breasts while they are being worn.^[54]

There various arguments as to whom created the bra. Why was it created? Was it to hide the breasts? How did we get here? When young girls start to develop, we have to put a Training bra on them,  training for what, a lifetime of shoulder pain and indentations later in life, a remembrance of oppression? To hide the fact that they are becoming women, why?

We will not even get in to the horrific attocities committed in many countries by placing a hot press on littles girls breasts to stunt their growth causing all kinds of medical issues.

After many years of carrying them around, I now have permanent indentations on my shoulder from years of bra straps leaving their mark on my body.

This is a very small issue but one of many that even my family and friends critize me on the day I want to take a break from being strapped in, because my headlights are on and they are not where they used to be 32 years ago! Really? If you see me bra less, don't judge me, you carry these things around all your life and see how it feels. And men, you only have two walnuts to deal and you do not have to harness them in straps, so don't even go there!

Stand with me in removing all the barriers!
If you are interested in participating in this photo project, please reach out to me at esgallery2014@gmail.com

Issues small and large need to be tackled one woman at a time,  locally and globally.

Which piece of the puzzle are you? Are you the missing link? Or the one that will put all the pieces together.

Fabulous by 50! Two months to go!

Notice the woman turning 50 who knows the first half of her life was just practice for what is yet to come. 


So for the for years I have been saying that I want to be fabulous by 50!

What  does that mean? I remember when Oprah turned 50 and her show was all about weight loss.

As you can imagine this has taken several turns for me as my mother likes to always remind me "I am
a defective model".

So having this defective internal carriage has been challenging, all my life, being "beautiful" has always brought attention for all the wrong reasons, no one ever saw me, they saw the "beautiful body"  that was carrying me. I know many of you are probably rolling your eyes just about now, but when you had to tell most of the men I worked I encountered to have a conversation with me, and not my breasts (not the way I exactly worded it). After most of my life being seen as a piece of meat, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto disease, an auto immune disease that affects and slowly kills the thyroid.
Long story short, having energy, getting off the couch, taking meds  three times a day and getting blood drawn every six months for the last 14 years are just a few things I deal with on a daily basis.

I do not tell you this to gain sympathy, I tell you this because even though there were years where
the doctors could not figure out what meds were a fit for me, my weight went up and down.
I am not going to say that it did not bother me, but it was not my main focus, my health was my primary concern, the weight was just a consequence of the disease.

These are just one of the many issues I deal with and I can say with certainty that while I want to
be fabulous at 50, my ideal of fabulous is different from most people.

I want to be "healthy" in the best way possible for me, which means, getting my psychical health, back.  Two years ago I broke my back, another setback.

So now I am focused on Health, Walking, Pilate's, watching my sugar, eating a bit more consciously.

Growing spiritually, getting back to mindfulness, meditating and being true to my spirit.

Enjoying my family and friends, traveling, dinners, wine and art.

Traveling, getting to my 100 countries before I am 60! Learning and experiencing other cultures.

Focusing on women and how they view themselves and how they are viewed in society will be my focus.  I have a feeling that this will be a very complex issue for many, including myself.

What do I want, when I am 93 years of age or so, I want people to say that I lived life to MY own rhythm,
That I lived it fully  with out regret and that I was kind to myself and others, and if a few want to say "and she had nice tits" thats okay with me.

For my project, I am asking for women to pose, nude, maybe with some props, but hopefully not, the purpose is to be rid of the fear of aging, getting old, being comfortable enough in your own skin.
Create a conversation, in which we can enlighten ourselves and our youth. It is not about your skin color,  your weight, your height, your age, your sexual preference, your religious beliefs. It is about your character, who are you?  Are you proud of the person you are? What would your legacy be?
Email me, if you want to participate :-)

Women's liberation revisited or women coming in to their own without falling to pressures from society?

We successfully pulled off our Girl Rising event this past Saturday, October 25, 2014.  Overall a hit with the people that attended, with a few comments such as, the movie told the "same" story over and over, too long, too far removed from the U.S..

How do we create change when the situation of 66 million girls does not have a direct impact on us?
Well, you may think that is does not have a direct impact, but it does. All the statistics show that if you improve girls lives economies all over the world would improve. Potentially the U.S. would not have to give billions of billions of dollars in aide that are never repaid.

It is not just about economics, it is about empowerment! Conciousness-raising!

Sociological empowerment often addresses members of groups that social discrimination processes have excluded from decision-making processes through - for example - discrimination based on disability, race, ethnicity, religion, or gender. Empowerment as a methodology is often associated with feminism: see consciousness-raising.

"Marginalized" refers to the overt or covert trends within societies whereby those perceived as lacking desirable traits or deviating from the group norms tend to be excluded by wider society and ostracized as undesirables.

Sometimes groups are marginalized by society at large, but governments are often unwitting or enthusiastic participants. This Act made it illegal to restrict access to schools and public places based on race. Equal opportunity laws which actively oppose such marginalization, allow increased empowerment to occur. They are also a symptom of minorities' and women's empowerment through lobbying.

Marginalized people who lack self-sufficiency become, at a minimum, dependent on charity, or welfare. They lose their self-confidence because they cannot be fully self-supporting. The opportunities denied them also deprive them of the pride of accomplishment which others, who have those opportunities, can develop for themselves. This in turn can lead to psychological, social and even mental health problems.

Economic Empowerment!

Most women across the globe rely on the informal work sector for an income.^[6] If women were empowered to do more and be more, the possibility for economic growth becomes apparent. Empowering women in developing countries is essential to reduce global poverty since women represent most of the world’s poor population.^[7] Eliminating a significant part of a nation’s work force on the sole basis of gender can have detrimental effects on the economy of that nation.^[8] In addition, female participation in counsels, groups, and businesses is seen to increase efficiency.^[9] For a general idea on how an empowered women can impact a situation monetarily, a study found that of fortune 500 companies, “those with more women board directors had significantly higher financial returns, including 53 percent higher returns on equity, 24 percent higher returns on sales and 67 percent higher returns on invested capital (OECD, 2008).”^[10] This study shows the impact women can have on the overall economic benefits of a company. If implemented on a global scale, the inclusion of women in the formal workforce (like a fortune 500 company) can increase the economic output of a nation. Therefore, women can also help businesses grow and economies prosper if they have, and if they are able to use, the right knowledge and skills in their employment.


This is all pretty heavy stuff that we will have to think long and hard about things that we want to accomplish locally and globally. 
I want to start out with the female/make psyche, what do we think about our bodies and why?
Why is the human form taboo, especially here in the U.S.?
Why does the religious or society have the authority to imply what is pure or impure?
How do we overcome being ashamed of being too tall, too fat, too thin, red head, curly haired, black, white, or brown?

I will be starting this project soon, I need volunteers, all types and ages (over 18). 
This will be just one of the components to creating a dialogue on how women "desensitize" men as seeing women solely as sexual objects or breeders and recognize that we are more than a carriage. 

Stay tuned

Read this article about Aleah Chapin :-)

'What painting portraits of naked women has taught me'

Artist Aleah Chapin, 28, has caused controversy with her realistic paintings of nude older women. Now, she has a new London show that celebrates the female form at every age. Here, she opens up to Claire Cohen about body image and the perils of social media

Aleah Chapin has a new exhibition at the Flowers Gallery in London Photo: Antonio Parente 2014

By Claire Cohen

7:00AM BST 22 Oct 2014

400 Comments

Aleah Chapin has seen a lot of naked women. In the past couple of years, she’s studied wrinkles, tattoos, mastectomy scars, pubic hair, lactating breasts and sagging bosoms.

The 28-year-old American artist, who hails from an island off Seattle and now lives in Brooklyn, has been lauded for her realist, larger-than-life depictions of ‘real’ female bodies.

It started with the ‘Aunties Project’, which saw her paint a series of giant nudes, featuring a group of older women – her mother’s friends, who she “grew-up with” and has known all her life.

One won her the prestigious BP Portrait Award in 2012, the last time she was in London. It depicted a woman in her sixties, smiling with her fulsome breasts resting on her stomach.

Critic Brian Sewell called it “repellent…a grotesque medical record”.

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Chapin was undeterred. She’s exhibited in the US, the Netherlands and Germany. Now, she’s back in London with a new show at the Flowers Gallery: ‘Maiden, Mother, Child and Crone’.

The paintings are in the same spirit – playful, confident, naked women – but her subjects now span the generations.

“I’m at the age where many of my friends are having children, thinking about having children, or thinking about not having children. So it’s something that’s happening now,” explains Chapin.

“And I’m nearing the age my parents were when they had me, so there’s this interesting layering of generations. I wanted to explore that in my work”.

Her paintings challenge the ageing process: how the years affect our bodies and minds, and how we’re ‘supposed’ to behave at a certain age.

So there’s a giant canvas on which a group of nine grey-haired women play an exaggerated, child-like game, crawling through each other’s legs. There are two pictures depicting a young mother. Another captures a mother and her daughter, standing companionably, side-by-side.

Chapin began painting as a child. But she only adopted the female form as a student in New York.

“I moved from the west coast to the east coast - New York with its big contemporary art world,” she explains. “I wanted to fit in. But then, I was drawn to where I came from.

“So I decided to go back to basics and explore my history and the people I grew up with - all these wacky and amazing women. The female body is an incredible thing to paint.”

(I don’t know about you, but, I’d struggle to delve into my back catalogue of family friends and emerge with a dozen women I could ask to take their clothes off).

_{It was the sound of their feet, 2014. Aleah Chapin}

But, as well as being a personal project, Chapin’s work has also shone a light on the subject of body image.

“Most women have issues and I’m not immune to that,” says Chapin. “We’re told that our bodies are supposed to be a ‘certain height, certain size, certain weight’. But the pictures we see are completely unrealistic; they’re very Photoshopped.

“We all know it when we look at them in magazines and yet, we still compare ourselves.

“That’s why we need images that show all sorts of bodies – so we can accept every size and shape.”

This attitude is why her work resonates. We may not recognise the individuals depicted in paint, but we recognise them as people (and it’s likely why two of Britain’s leading collectors of modern art –including ‘Saatchi of the North’ Frank Cohen - have snapped up work from the new exhibition).

She also says that painting young women was a different experience to the ‘Aunties’.

“We generally care more what we look like – probably too much at times, me included,” she says.

“Young women are still trying to fit in. I think when you get older you care less –that’s not a negative thing at all. You’re just more accepting.

“When you get past a certain age you become invisible – and that’s a whole other problem.

“For me, it’s about finding beauty in every imperfection.”

_{Jumanji and Gwen, 2014. Aleah Chapin}

Some might disagree. I talk to a middle-aged woman, intently studying Chapin’s work on the gallery walls. She’s disappointed by the subject matter.

“It’s sad that we have to go to such extremes to get attention for my generation,” she tells me. “For me, it’s just too much. I find it really hard to look at.”

Chapin’s paintings do dominate a room. Each is twice life-size and, according to Chapin, her works are getting “larger and larger”.

“You get an amazing human connection that way,” she tells me. “They are more in your personal space.”

To the outsider, it looks as though it’s Chapin who’s really been invading personal space. But she assures me that she’s never had to ‘persuade’ any of her subjects to strip-off.

“I don’t want them to go into it not wanting to,” she explains.

“I ask them to close their eyes and take a deep breath. That can really ground them in their bodies and make them feel relaxed. I also let them know that I’m completely comfortable.

“I almost don’t even see nakedness anymore; I’m so used to it.”

_{Exhibition at the Flowers Gallery, 2014. Aleah Chapin}

She does admit that a few women went through “difficulty” when they first saw themselves depicted in paint. But nothing could have prepared them for the public reaction.

“None of us expecting that,” smiles Chapin. “That’s the hardest bit for us all – having personal pictures out there.”

It’s an issue that every modern artist must now tackle – the presence of his, or hers, subjects on the internet.

“I have to let them know that the images will be online, she says. “You see these little tiny thumbnails and they look more real when they’re smaller. It changes things for people. I’m honestly surprised that they are so comfortable with it.”

Social media has completely transformed life for young artists like Chapin – allowing them to share ideas and engage with their fans - and detractors.

“Not every one wants to see non-idealised female bodies,” she shrugs. “I try not to be affected but it’s difficult sometimes.

“People have a right to say what they want. But there’s something about the internet that gives them a platform to say anything. There’s that veil between you and that person.

“But then I’ll get an email saying how the work has influenced someone positively and it makes the struggle totally worth it.

"And I no longer feel that I’m not the only one who has body issues. I’ve learned that we all have insecurities, from people around the world who email to tell me what they’re dealing with. I don’t feel alone."

_{Aleah working in her studio. Photo: Facebook}

Next, Chapin plans to tackle gender and admits to having male subjects lined up.

“I have asked a couple actually,” she laughs. “But men are actually less comfortable posing in the nude. I guess we see less nude men generally in culture generally, unless you look back to Greek art.

“I have a show in LA next year and I haven’t started the work yet. It’s daunting – but I have to do it.”

She also hopes – at some point – to have a family (her boyfriend, a film-maker, is in London to support her) despite what the art establishment might think.

“I think there’s an expectation that for women to ‘make it’ you only have to do your art,” she says.

““You have to be incredibly selfish and spend a lot of time in the studio. People say you have to be ‘married to your art’.

“But I also believe you can have a partner and a family. I am absolutely going to do that.”

“So I will.”

Aleah Chapin’s paintings are at the Flowers Gallery, Cork Street, London until November 8, 2014.

Lucian Freud: One of Britain's greatest artists