Since the beginning of time children have been told to "obey" everything from parents, to teachers to law enforcement basically anyone that was taller than them. Obey in particular was carried over to adult life for women, in their wedding vows, I will honor and Obey!
Obey a form of social influence, compliance.
Respect a positive feeling, esteem for another person, specific action or conduct.
During lunch last week the conversation about these two words came up and it hit me like a ton of bricks. What are we doing to our children by telling them they need to Obey adults instead of respecting them?
Even as I sit and write this, obey is belittling the person that is instructed to follow that command, making one feel small inferior, unimportant.
Respect, a totally different feeling of empowerment, giving them the ability to respect someone.
The word obey was pushed on me as child to the point that I was never able to question an adult.
If I would have been taught to respect, would things have been different?
Would I have had the courage to question and challenge the person that sexually abused me all those years if I would have learned respect instead of obey? Two simple words that possibly could have changed and given power to one little girl.
Big question.........
Monday, November 24, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
How do you size up people?
Humans have always been told first impressions count. Do we lay too much weight on this statement?
I know from personal experience that I have been wrong on occasion about people, I have also
apologized to them when I was wrong about them. One person in particular comes to mind, a
friend of mine that when I first met him I thought he was full of himself, completely self
centered and totally clueless. I could have not been more wrong, he is a genuinely kind person
that is a wonderful father.
I would say that most of the time I am right, but I am not so sure it is about first impression, but
more about listening to your gut. And this should be taught at a very young age. I would always observe my daughter as a child and her gut was right on most of the time with most of the people,
why, because they have no filters, do not know what "judgmental" is for the most part.
I can think of thousands of people that have read me wrong, for many reasons, my question is it because of our facade or because that are already sizing you up by the type of the clothes you wear,
the car you drive or the home you live in?
I remember I was at lunch with a guy and an ex-boyfriend walked in to the restaurant, he saw me
having lunch with the guy and he said hello and called me the next day and asked me "what the
hell are you doing dating that guy?" I said why, I really did not know him that well yet, and my
ex said to me, not my business but you are not the type of woman that would go out with him, he
said just watch the way he treats people and I did and my ex was right and I left him.
Finally my last little story, I went to a Reiki treatment:
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy
For me it was cathartic, as I was laying on the table and this beautiful woman was passing her hands
over me, she starting telling me her story, and at the end she said. "I live my life and I fall in love with the soul of the person, not the gender". She said I am currently married with a child, but it
does not mean that I could not fall in love with a woman, because she sees the essence of the
person and not the carriage. From that day on I view love differently, because now my love
cannot be identified by the love of a child, parent or spouse. Love is love! And what is "being in
Love all about" that to me is not a real love, it is a transitional emotion confused with the word
love.
More on that next time.
I know from personal experience that I have been wrong on occasion about people, I have also
apologized to them when I was wrong about them. One person in particular comes to mind, a
friend of mine that when I first met him I thought he was full of himself, completely self
centered and totally clueless. I could have not been more wrong, he is a genuinely kind person
that is a wonderful father.
I would say that most of the time I am right, but I am not so sure it is about first impression, but
more about listening to your gut. And this should be taught at a very young age. I would always observe my daughter as a child and her gut was right on most of the time with most of the people,
why, because they have no filters, do not know what "judgmental" is for the most part.
I can think of thousands of people that have read me wrong, for many reasons, my question is it because of our facade or because that are already sizing you up by the type of the clothes you wear,
the car you drive or the home you live in?
I remember I was at lunch with a guy and an ex-boyfriend walked in to the restaurant, he saw me
having lunch with the guy and he said hello and called me the next day and asked me "what the
hell are you doing dating that guy?" I said why, I really did not know him that well yet, and my
ex said to me, not my business but you are not the type of woman that would go out with him, he
said just watch the way he treats people and I did and my ex was right and I left him.
Finally my last little story, I went to a Reiki treatment:
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy
For me it was cathartic, as I was laying on the table and this beautiful woman was passing her hands
over me, she starting telling me her story, and at the end she said. "I live my life and I fall in love with the soul of the person, not the gender". She said I am currently married with a child, but it
does not mean that I could not fall in love with a woman, because she sees the essence of the
person and not the carriage. From that day on I view love differently, because now my love
cannot be identified by the love of a child, parent or spouse. Love is love! And what is "being in
Love all about" that to me is not a real love, it is a transitional emotion confused with the word
love.
More on that next time.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Inside/Out, The "naked" photography project and the burning of the bra!
The bra!
Why was it invented?
It seems to me after dealing with a lifetime of carry breasts around that the bra has done a disservice to women.
Breasts are made of ligaments and fat, if you put them in to a sling they no longer have to work they get lazy and sag. Another product misleading women.
Robert Mansell, a professor of surgery at the University Hospital of Wales, in Cardiff, reported that, "Bras don't prevent breasts from sagging, with regard to stretching of the breast ligaments and drooping in later life, that occurs very regularly anyway, and that's a function of the weight, often of heavy breasts, and these women are wearing bras and it doesn't prevent it." John Dixey, at the time CEO of Playtex, agreed with Mansell. "We have no medical evidence that wearing a bra could prevent sagging, because the breast itself is not muscle so keeping it toned up is an impossibility."[53] John Dixey told interviewers. "There's no permanent effect on the breast from wearing a particular bra. The bra will give you the shape the bra's been designed to give while you're wearing it."[54] Bras only affect the shape of breasts while they are being worn.[54]
There various arguments as to whom created the bra. Why was it created? Was it to hide the breasts? How did we get here? When young girls start to develop, we have to put a Training bra on them, training for what, a lifetime of shoulder pain and indentations later in life, a remembrance of oppression? To hide the fact that they are becoming women, why?
We will not even get in to the horrific attocities committed in many countries by placing a hot press on littles girls breasts to stunt their growth causing all kinds of medical issues.
After many years of carrying them around, I now have permanent indentations on my shoulder from years of bra straps leaving their mark on my body.
This is a very small issue but one of many that even my family and friends critize me on the day I want to take a break from being strapped in, because my headlights are on and they are not where they used to be 32 years ago! Really? If you see me bra less, don't judge me, you carry these things around all your life and see how it feels. And men, you only have two walnuts to deal and you do not have to harness them in straps, so don't even go there!
Stand with me in removing all the barriers!
If you are interested in participating in this photo project, please reach out to me at esgallery2014@gmail.com
Issues small and large need to be tackled one woman at a time, locally and globally.
Which piece of the puzzle are you? Are you the missing link? Or the one that will put all the pieces together.
Why was it invented?
It seems to me after dealing with a lifetime of carry breasts around that the bra has done a disservice to women.
Breasts are made of ligaments and fat, if you put them in to a sling they no longer have to work they get lazy and sag. Another product misleading women.
Robert Mansell, a professor of surgery at the University Hospital of Wales, in Cardiff, reported that, "Bras don't prevent breasts from sagging, with regard to stretching of the breast ligaments and drooping in later life, that occurs very regularly anyway, and that's a function of the weight, often of heavy breasts, and these women are wearing bras and it doesn't prevent it." John Dixey, at the time CEO of Playtex, agreed with Mansell. "We have no medical evidence that wearing a bra could prevent sagging, because the breast itself is not muscle so keeping it toned up is an impossibility."[53] John Dixey told interviewers. "There's no permanent effect on the breast from wearing a particular bra. The bra will give you the shape the bra's been designed to give while you're wearing it."[54] Bras only affect the shape of breasts while they are being worn.[54]
There various arguments as to whom created the bra. Why was it created? Was it to hide the breasts? How did we get here? When young girls start to develop, we have to put a Training bra on them, training for what, a lifetime of shoulder pain and indentations later in life, a remembrance of oppression? To hide the fact that they are becoming women, why?
We will not even get in to the horrific attocities committed in many countries by placing a hot press on littles girls breasts to stunt their growth causing all kinds of medical issues.
After many years of carrying them around, I now have permanent indentations on my shoulder from years of bra straps leaving their mark on my body.
This is a very small issue but one of many that even my family and friends critize me on the day I want to take a break from being strapped in, because my headlights are on and they are not where they used to be 32 years ago! Really? If you see me bra less, don't judge me, you carry these things around all your life and see how it feels. And men, you only have two walnuts to deal and you do not have to harness them in straps, so don't even go there!
Stand with me in removing all the barriers!
If you are interested in participating in this photo project, please reach out to me at esgallery2014@gmail.com
Issues small and large need to be tackled one woman at a time, locally and globally.
Which piece of the puzzle are you? Are you the missing link? Or the one that will put all the pieces together.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Fabulous by 50! Two months to go!
Notice the woman turning 50 who knows the first half of her life was just practice for what is yet to come.
So for the for years I have been saying that I want to be fabulous by 50!
What does that mean? I remember when Oprah turned 50 and her show was all about weight loss.
As you can imagine this has taken several turns for me as my mother likes to always remind me "I am
a defective model".
So having this defective internal carriage has been challenging, all my life, being "beautiful" has always brought attention for all the wrong reasons, no one ever saw me, they saw the "beautiful body" that was carrying me. I know many of you are probably rolling your eyes just about now, but when you had to tell most of the men I worked I encountered to have a conversation with me, and not my breasts (not the way I exactly worded it). After most of my life being seen as a piece of meat, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto disease, an auto immune disease that affects and slowly kills the thyroid.
Long story short, having energy, getting off the couch, taking meds three times a day and getting blood drawn every six months for the last 14 years are just a few things I deal with on a daily basis.
I do not tell you this to gain sympathy, I tell you this because even though there were years where
the doctors could not figure out what meds were a fit for me, my weight went up and down.
I am not going to say that it did not bother me, but it was not my main focus, my health was my primary concern, the weight was just a consequence of the disease.
These are just one of the many issues I deal with and I can say with certainty that while I want to
be fabulous at 50, my ideal of fabulous is different from most people.
I want to be "healthy" in the best way possible for me, which means, getting my psychical health, back. Two years ago I broke my back, another setback.
So now I am focused on Health, Walking, Pilate's, watching my sugar, eating a bit more consciously.
Growing spiritually, getting back to mindfulness, meditating and being true to my spirit.
Enjoying my family and friends, traveling, dinners, wine and art.
Traveling, getting to my 100 countries before I am 60! Learning and experiencing other cultures.
Focusing on women and how they view themselves and how they are viewed in society will be my focus. I have a feeling that this will be a very complex issue for many, including myself.
What do I want, when I am 93 years of age or so, I want people to say that I lived life to MY own rhythm,
That I lived it fully with out regret and that I was kind to myself and others, and if a few want to say "and she had nice tits" thats okay with me.
For my project, I am asking for women to pose, nude, maybe with some props, but hopefully not, the purpose is to be rid of the fear of aging, getting old, being comfortable enough in your own skin.
Create a conversation, in which we can enlighten ourselves and our youth. It is not about your skin color, your weight, your height, your age, your sexual preference, your religious beliefs. It is about your character, who are you? Are you proud of the person you are? What would your legacy be?
Email me, if you want to participate :-)
So for the for years I have been saying that I want to be fabulous by 50!
What does that mean? I remember when Oprah turned 50 and her show was all about weight loss.
As you can imagine this has taken several turns for me as my mother likes to always remind me "I am
a defective model".
So having this defective internal carriage has been challenging, all my life, being "beautiful" has always brought attention for all the wrong reasons, no one ever saw me, they saw the "beautiful body" that was carrying me. I know many of you are probably rolling your eyes just about now, but when you had to tell most of the men I worked I encountered to have a conversation with me, and not my breasts (not the way I exactly worded it). After most of my life being seen as a piece of meat, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto disease, an auto immune disease that affects and slowly kills the thyroid.
Long story short, having energy, getting off the couch, taking meds three times a day and getting blood drawn every six months for the last 14 years are just a few things I deal with on a daily basis.
I do not tell you this to gain sympathy, I tell you this because even though there were years where
the doctors could not figure out what meds were a fit for me, my weight went up and down.
I am not going to say that it did not bother me, but it was not my main focus, my health was my primary concern, the weight was just a consequence of the disease.
These are just one of the many issues I deal with and I can say with certainty that while I want to
be fabulous at 50, my ideal of fabulous is different from most people.
I want to be "healthy" in the best way possible for me, which means, getting my psychical health, back. Two years ago I broke my back, another setback.
So now I am focused on Health, Walking, Pilate's, watching my sugar, eating a bit more consciously.
Growing spiritually, getting back to mindfulness, meditating and being true to my spirit.
Enjoying my family and friends, traveling, dinners, wine and art.
Traveling, getting to my 100 countries before I am 60! Learning and experiencing other cultures.
Focusing on women and how they view themselves and how they are viewed in society will be my focus. I have a feeling that this will be a very complex issue for many, including myself.
What do I want, when I am 93 years of age or so, I want people to say that I lived life to MY own rhythm,
That I lived it fully with out regret and that I was kind to myself and others, and if a few want to say "and she had nice tits" thats okay with me.
For my project, I am asking for women to pose, nude, maybe with some props, but hopefully not, the purpose is to be rid of the fear of aging, getting old, being comfortable enough in your own skin.
Create a conversation, in which we can enlighten ourselves and our youth. It is not about your skin color, your weight, your height, your age, your sexual preference, your religious beliefs. It is about your character, who are you? Are you proud of the person you are? What would your legacy be?
Email me, if you want to participate :-)
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